Eli Finkel

Eli Finkel is a social psychologist and professor at Northwestern University, with appointments in psychology and the Kellogg School of Management. He researches romantic relationships and American politics, and is the author of *The All-or-Nothing Marriage*.

Couples Build Compatibility Through Private Rituals, Not Matching Traits

Social psychologist Eli J. Finkel argues that lasting compatibility is less about finding someone who matches a list of preferred traits than about building a shared world through private phrases, rituals and repeated moments. That world, which he calls a couple’s love motif, can make commitment feel like an expression of individual authenticity rather than a compromise of it.

TEDOct 19, 20264 min read